It's almost 2am!

Self-Imagined Diseases

Since we Pinoys are super hyper hypochondriacs, here are a couple of conditions that I think the medical world should look more into.

OBSESSIVE - IMPULSIVE DISORDER. As opposed to obsessive-compulsive (OC) wherein the user (as if may choice) usually obsesses about one thing (for example, the dining setting where everything should be polished) and focuses on it, the OI obsesses in one thing (for example, what Australian phonology and why it's different from other forms of English) but can not focus on one particular subject.

Using Australian phonology as an example, he will seek it out until he finds it boring, probably after looking through the subject on wikipedia for 22 minutes. He then moves on to looking for what phonology is in the first place.

The objective of the OI is to fulfill immediate wants, and not necessarily long-term needs. He is quite feisty and will bite if provoked.


FALSE CELEBRITY DELUSION DISORDER. Redundant as it may seem, it actually exists. Symptoms include: dressing up like a rock star, talking loudly with friends in a coffee shop musing about how important you are to the society, making "intellectual" conversations at the back of the bus and pronouncing that you come from the top university in the Philippines, using heavy words like procreate, masticating, euphoria, abyssmal, and "so much so that", and creating a blog over the World Wide Web to make people know that you actually exist.

This condition is attributed to one of the following:
1. Being the first-born child;
2. Being the bunso;
3. Being a former child beauty pageant winner;
4. Being a former National Spelling/Math/"Battle of the Brains" contestant; and
5. Being fat when you were a kid, and everybody used to ask you to dance ala-Bibbo style.


POST-VACATION DEPRESSION DISORDER. As the name suggests, PVDD is usually experienced after a long, relaxing holiday out of town. This is commonly caused by the setting in of reality that what you've just experienced is not real life; it was an illusion that life is actually good to you.

It sets in when you go back to your old boring job and realize that you're not happy. The disorder targets certain areas of your brain to make you think you are unhappy because you compare your normal life to the 4-day fantastic life you just had. These brain signals cause different symptoms, the most notable of which are: dizziness, cough and cold, death of a relative, LBM, and other such excuses so you can get another day or two off work.

The condition can last any time from 2 days to 6 months, as in my case.

posted by Rom / Rub according to the barista @ 2:51 PM 0 comments

The "I HATE" List

posted by Rom / Rub according to the barista @ 2:00 PM 0 comments

Insomnia getting worse

Yesterday, I slept at 5 AM. I always tell myself to sleep earlier but everytime I try, I find it harder to sleep. My technique is to breathe heavily, but after 2 minutes I completely forget about it because of my thoughts. Heavy breathing works for me because I find that it relaxes my muscles.

So now, I'm trying blogging again since I read somewhere that diverting your attention to other things can actually help you relax.

Anyway, just bits and baubles (if the internet had plagiarism laws, I'd be dead by now)---

1. I think I have Obsessive-Impulsive Disorder. There's no medical term, although I think in certain medical circles, they categorize this under OCD cases. It's almost like OC, but instead of focusing on one thing/compulsion, I go from one to the other, and I obsess about every single one of them.

Ex: Internet.
men.style.com.
clicks on top 10 essentials.
thinks "hmmm, nice stuff".
browses , finds another article and decides that anyone who uses "uber" is jologs.
looks for the etymology of the word and its influence in pop culture.
pop. andy warhol. i wonder what his influences are.
wikies andy.
decides to smoke after seeing a picture of him smoking.
goes back to the internet, looks at highsnobiety.com.
nice new plaid/flannel/check/tartan shirt. what's the difference?
wikies plaid/flannel/check/tartan.
hmmmm, I wonder what's up with that DJ blog.

Get the picture?

2. I miss my friends. Or rather, I miss my friendships. Those carefree times. Everybody's got their own lives now. Actually, I'm the one who doesn't want to reach out. I'm too comfy in my own little enclave. I get invited but I think I'd rather watch Jeopardy. I love my friends! I jsut need to get out of this habit.

3. You can witness Pinoy crab mentality in ABS-CBN's "Wheel of Fortune". Why do they have to shout "Bankrupt" and "Lose a Turn" when another player is spinning the wheel? Why? It's irritating. Even Kris cringes.

4. I don't like the idea in the new Nescafe/Nestea/Nestle (pick one) commercial with the aliens. I didn't get it at first. I think that's why I read about it on the newspaper today: so they can explain to the audience what it actually means.

I'm so sleepy now but I think I'll smoke just another yosi.

posted by Rom / Rub according to the barista @ 3:46 AM 0 comments

TOP 10 ALMOST FAMOUS MOMENTS

1. I was featured in an ad for the company I used to worked for 6 years ago with the then-unknown Say Alonzo (nee Yutadco - I'm not sure if I'm using the nee correctly, but I've always wanted to use it). My mom framed it and I think it's still displayed in our living room. Bad thing is, I was only on the background and a whole lot of letters are covering some areas of my face.

2. I was seen on Channel 5's Maverick and Ariel as a contestant for the Crazy/Dirty/forgot-what-it-was-really-called-but-that-dance-craze(not so much of a craze)-step Duck thingie. I was on Abante Tonight after a week for their press release and I only knew because a classmate of mine saw it on the tabloid. They posted it on my org's logbook. Imagine the embarassment.

3. I was seen on Channel 5, yet again. I am such an E-lister. This was for my college org's show, and I was quoted to have shouted (according to another classmate) "GO SAMASKOM!!!" at the top of my lungs.

4. My outfit was photoed by a Manila stylist at the Salcedo Village Market on a rainy Saturday afternoon. She really didn't post it in her blog because I think I put her off because after spelling her name (for the blog reference), I just said "OK, I'll check it out. Thanks." And then walked out. I wasn't being rude, it was just a grumpy rainy day, and somebody accidentally poured rain water on my shirt. I feel lucky though that it didn't get posted because I wasn't looking my prime.

5. During the Studio 23 Kabarkada Mo Holy Week party in Boracay last year (told you I'm an E-lister), I kept on passing by the cameras so I can be seen on the video walls. I was seen twice.

6. I starred in a college production as an old patriarchic horse, whereupon a prominent theater director (forgot what his name was) told my co-star to tell me: "You know how to act."

7. On a holiday in Cebu, a couple approached me on the bar, telling me that I looked familiar. I simply told them: "I'm the guy in that Boysen commercial with the bald dude in prison growing old. Not the old one, or the muscular one, the one when he was younger, right before he developed muscles." Of course that's not true, but they believed anyway. One of them simply said: "Sabi ko na, nakita na kita before eh!" Naaaaaaksss.

8. You can see a picture of me in groovenet.com.ph. I just have one picture, but it's still considered a brush on fame, isn't it? OK, this is lame... Let me change that: my performance as an Oblation runner at one of my college org's shows. I ran the length of the stage naked.

9. I played an SM sales lady at--yet again-- one of my college org's comedy show. I was wearing the trademark blue dress with matching pink and blue make-up. No one recognized me. I had mixed reviews. Some said I looked like Agot Isidro, others told me I looked like Roxanne from Home Along da Riles.

and the number 1 Almost Famous moment: ano to, countdown?

10. Wala lang. Everday. Cause I always get stared at.


NAAAAAAAKKKSSSS.....

posted by Rom / Rub according to the barista @ 3:09 AM 0 comments