Depression 101
I can't be depressed. I think I'm happy enough to know that I'm not. Or maybe I'm sad enough to deny it.I've been thinking a lot about life lately and it seems that I'm getting nowhere. Maybe it's quarter-life crisis or maybe it's my genes finally catching up. You see, my uncles and aunts and cousins are very laid-back people; they like to drink a lot and be merry. I'm not saying that they're lazy because some of them have full-time jobs too.
I don't want to go into that so much because I suddenly felt like I'm blaming other people for my incapacity to work.
I am working, alright. I've been holding on to this job for the past three months and guess what? I'm bored to death.
Yup, that's me. I'd like to call myself a borewhore but it doesn't make sense. Anyway, that's just the type of person that I am. The longest time I've held on to a job is 11 months, and that was in a call center. The rest were meager time spent in sales and marketing positions that I thought were right for me.
And now here I am, working for a reputable company in a sales position in a mall. After three months, there's just no challenge left for me. So I started to write again. And surf the web again, thanks to our newly-installed wi-fi system.
I like researching about what I go through, and I came upon this website http://www.depression.com/. I got worried because according to experts, here are the most common symptoms of clinical depression:
- constant feelings of sadness, irritability, or tension
- decreased interest or pleasure in usual activities or hobbies
- loss of energy, feeling tired despite lack of activity
- a change in appetite, with significant weight loss or weight gain
- a change in sleeping patterns, such as difficulty sleeping, early morning awakening, or sleeping too much
- restlessness or feeling slowed down
- decreased ability to make decisions or concentrate
- feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, or guilt
- thoughts of suicide or death
So I did a raincheck. Out of the 9 most common symptoms, I'm going through 8 of them. F*ck! I AM depressed! But why? According to the same website, here are some of the causes for depression:
- Family history. Genetics play an important part in depression. It can run in families for generations.
- Trauma and stress. Things like financial problems, the breakup of a relationship, or the death of a loved one can bring on depression. You can become depressed after changes in your life, like starting a new job, graduating from school, or getting married.
- Pessimistic personality. People who have low self-esteem and a negative outlook are at higher risk of becoming depressed. These traits may actually be caused by low-level depression (called dysthymia).
- Physical conditions. Serious medical conditions like heart disease, cancer, and HIV can contribute to depression, partly because of the physical weakness and stress they bring on. Depression can make medical conditions worse, since it weakens the immune system and can make pain harder to bear. In some cases, depression can be caused by medications used to treat medical conditions.
- Other psychological disorders. Anxiety disorders, eating disorders, schizophrenia, and (especially) substance abuse often appear along with depression.
The only reason I can think of is that I'm stuck in a rut I can't get out of. I feel there's something else for me out there, and all I need to do is look for it. Who know's how long it will take me. NEED HELP!
posted by Rom / Rub according to the barista @ 12:35 PM
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